So another summer is approaching. Another 3 months of nice weather, upbeat moods, and all the pleasant preconceptions of what this particular season holds. But what will it really mean to me? For one, this will be the last summer that I will experience as a "student," which in itself marks the crossroad between childhood and true adulthood. As a student, one is always "going somewhere" and it is perfectly okay to be complacent as long as we are a "work in progress," but until the day finally comes that marks the end of the journey and arrival at this destination, the fear of meeting life's expectations never truly sets in. So you've graduated. What have you learned in 4 years? Has what you learned prepared you for the demands of the real world? These are some of the questions that daunt the minds of the graduating student facing true adulthood...

Where does this leave me? I'm looking forward to another 3 years of school after this is all done and over with, but nothing preoccupies my mind more than GETTING there. Although I've felt quite discouraged in recent weeks, knowing now that I have 4 more months to study is quite comforting, and with consistent and determined hard work, it should end up being the right decision. But even then, where will a good score take me? As much I would miss my family and friends, I think Edmonton is most likely where I'll end up spending these crucial final 3 years of my re-education. But whos knows. 165 can go a long way, all the way to the top of the onion.

It's funny how I go through phases, and often, it only takes a matter of days. My contacts are nearly glazing over but it feels right just to spill my thoughts once again on this electronic equivalent of my diary.

It was only days ago when I felt a sense of infatuation, but only upon reflection do I realize that it was around the exact time last year that I last had a similar feeling. What started pretty much the same way ended with a Black Magic rose sitting peacefully on a beach log on the shore of Dundarave, but led to nothing more than disappointment and disillusion. That was one year ago today, and much has changed since then. So despite the current circumstances, I feel the strength to look to the present with optimism.

This is the very first entry, and I am truly honored to those who are interested in me enough to take the time to read what may be considered one's online sanctuary, a diary, a verbal depiction of the mind of another. Whether you be an ex-lover, an ex-friend, or just a nosy individual, I hope you enjoy reading up on my life, as I will be using this as a means of self-expression.

It is 12:53am and I have my Strategic Management textbook opened to the front of Chapter 2, with an unlidded highlighter standing nearby, but here I find myself distracted from what I should be doing, to doing what I am doing. I find it surprising that over the course of one summer, my interest in the study of Business has completely dwindled, as Law has taken to the forefront and nowadays, it seems that the only readings that keep me awake are my Criminology ones. I can't begin to explain to you the pressure I feel in having to bring my CGPA up by 0.3 in the course of one year, but if there's a will, there's a way.

I have to say that this past summer was the most fun I have had in my life. Although I did take summer courses, it didn't stop me from being dragged out almost every night that ends with "day." At times I feel like I may have gained 50 lbs in the course of a night, whether it be sipping the syrup all night or wandering into McDonalds in a drunken stumper. But in the end, it was all worth it. I had finally got the chance to spend the time with my best friend, which was never possible for as long as he knew me, I was a prisoner of love. 

Perhaps I'm hyperbolizing, as I no longer feel so disenchanted about relationships and what they embody, but the things that happened this summer cause me to reflect on what I really want in my life right now. Hanging out all summer with friends that were also young and single re-defined what was fun for a night. We lived for the good times, whether it be picking up hookers in a limo (it wasn't me), or bar-hopping with a group of girls we plucked out of a line, this summer was never short on experiences. For the first time, I knew someone who died of a non illness-related condition, and this really set a few things into perspective. How ironic it is that this individual happened to be the girlfriend of one of my friends, and we all met her the same night, never thinking a girl like her would ever come back to go hot-tubbing with us at 3 in the morning. I didn't know her well, but I can remember her stunning beauty and smile that radiated every time she put it on. I had heard that not only was she beautiful, she was also smart, nice, and super friendly- in fact, he was so infatuated in how she could finally be the one, and then it happens. Bam! and it's all gone. Life can be so precious.

I have to say that one of the highlights of my summer was meeting this special someone in the most unique of circumstances. Although she was not a 'special someone' by conventional terms, the relationship that we had would likely be considered "every guy's dream." But perhaps that in itself was where the problem lay, as we no longer speak. I can attest that were it not for our circumstances, it would have been very easy for me to take the fall, as I have never met someone with as sweet a demeanor and as easy-going a personality. Mysterious in her own way, I guess this is the way it will remain.

I can say that this summer, I have met more girls than I can count, and more than my previous lifetimes, multiplied ten-fold. From taking out a girl rollerblading and then finding out about her jail-bird boyfriend to a friendship gone sour after a 'declaration of hidden love,' I've had experiences that only strengthened my character and helped to define what I really want now...

It's funny how the circumstances to which you meet people often define the type of characters that you meet. It's also ironic that those who are gold-diggers will never admit it, even though they ritualistically hunt down men in clubs to solicit drinks, and talk incessantly about the material objects that they crave as defining substance to their very existence. For those who "dream" of a man who is "educated, good-looking, wealthy, legit, going somewhere in life," look in the mirror and think for a second what YOU bring to the table, other than the hole between your legs. Because 9 times out of 10, if that's all you got, that's all we want. You read it here because most men won't admit it in fear of "screwing up their chances." It doesn't get any realer than this.

I also have to note that I have met a great friend while going to a conference in Toronto in May. While the trip has caused us both much disillusion as to what the organization we are representing is really about, hanging out and pounding away with you straight from the pitcher, for 11 nights straight was truly an awesome experience. I have never met someone who I can relate to on so many levels, someone who has the mind and intelligence to discuss the things that many people are afraid to comprehend. I know that you'll be looking out for me and I'll be doing the same for you too, bro.

To my other friends, here is your time and space. To my closest female confidente, although you are 21 and still never had a relationship, choose the first one well, as it will set the benchmark in what you want in all future relationships. But at the same time, don't take pride in stomping out the hearts of men, because all too often we come back and do it back to women, who are far more prone to tears. Same goes to my other closest female confidente. I'm quite happy that I turned you into an alkie as lately we've had some incredibly fun times, and I hope this doesn't change. I look forward to singing "Frontin' (The Fried Squid Remix)" for many nights to come!

And as for that special someone I have met recently, who knows, you may be reading this. You really are one of a kind. I've met your mom already, don't know what that means, but this is as close as it gets for me, as I've almost forgotten what it's like to feel this way. "Nothing in life and love is certain," so for now, I'll take a ticket, stand in line, and leave the rest for time to unfold...